Pretty good start up to a new semester. I'm on a huge Go hiatus. Even though my last post helped to calm some nerves a bit, I haven't played Go for one week until Tuesday night when we have our first Go Club meeting.
The good thing about the past week is that I have been able to remain productive: Get my textbooks, stay on track of my new reseach internship endeavors and go mad crazy on Google Docs where I keep all the documents for the Rutgers Go Club. I'm even trying to sleep earlier now (2:00 AM) It's a start. I used to sleep at 4 AM most nights last semester.
And also, I might have a mentor who will help me with fitness and social stuff. So things are looking up right now. However, the great productivity has only gone on for 2 to 3 days. Time goes too slow right now...
My goal since December 17th was that I would play 60 games of Go on KGS by the end of the break, which is next week. However, only thing is, I've only played less than 20. I have this habit of flip flopping, using my time doing various things with small amounts of commitment instead of concentrating on one single thing, thinking that I would be wasting my time doing too much of one thing.
Process
I would play very few games, and then go on to the vicious circle of things:
First I should read a book so that I'll get better in my games,
First I should find someone to guide me, so I can understand the book material,
First I should play a few games, so that I will have enough new experience for someone to guide me.
At the end of this, I still wouldn't understand anything.
Excuses
Another option could be, that I just keep playing all 60 games without being caught in trying to balance things.
Excuse A (Process): Books and people help me improve faster.
Excuse B: I have a huge fear of losing.
Excuse C: I hate playing people who I can't see.
Excuse D: One hour is too long for a game.
Excuse E: Oh my mom is home, she always interrupts me. I better not play.
Solutions
Solution A: Just play games. Be comfortable with playing as much as you can.
Solution B: Expect to lose around 5 games for every 1 game.
Solution C: They can't see you.
Solution D: Playing a lot of games of Go, it'll definitely take more than an hour.
Solution E: Mom respects it and leaves when I tell her.
So, I broke down everything there. And hopefully I can use the solutions to help me when I'm playing Go. Then, in a week or two, I'll look at this again and see if my expected solutions are right, or if I have to change them again.
Hey Everyone,
I created this blog with the purpose to analyze my ways and my beliefs, and at the same time, listen to people's feedback and comments to help me through my journey of what I call "My Messy Fuseki".
Fuseki is actually Japanese terminology that describes the opening play in the board game Go or Wei-qi. I feel that there's a lot for me to do and a lot of things to change. It's as if I'm still discovering the opening play of my life. Kalat is a filipino word that means "Mess", and it is what my mom always emphasizes to me when she wants me to clean up my room.
I will be as thoughtful as I can about my thoughts and actions, and to avoid looking at things from a perspective of depression. And through feedback that hopefully might come as well as my own self-analysis, I can help myself clean up the kalat.
Thanks,
Andrew
